Battling for custody of children isn’t fun for anybody. In any kind of separation or divorce, it’s natural to want to see your children as often as possible and to maybe resent the other party for not allowing that to happen. Remember, they probably want the same thing you do and it’s important to acknowledge that. Here are some tips to make sure everything goes down as smoothly as possible.

Some Things To Keep In Mind

1. Establish and stick to the physical custody schedule. Even if it’s only a temporary situation, sticking to the schedule with your kids is vital. Cancelling on your ex and children shows them and the court that you had other priorities at the time. Keep a journal or diary of who picked up who and when, and make sure to record all of the activities you did with your kids. Demonstrating that you’re a positive and stable influence in their lives can go a long way.

2. Be an adult. This may seem like very generic advice, but when arguing that you should have a say in how your children grow up, it’s important to demonstrate that you are also grown up. Using your children as spies to find out what your ex is doing or employing them as messengers are both pretty low. Discussions about emotional subjects can get heated. Do your best to stay cool and calm for multiple reasons. Not only can everything you say be used in court, but it’s also just not good for the kids to see their parents fighting all the time. If a sore spot comes up, I recommend switching to email or a more private area.

3. Be helpful for both sides of the custody battle. Any active measure to prevent your ex from seeing the kids will be frowned upon in court. Work within the rules to ensure that everyone gets what they’re allowed. Do your best to not badmouth your ex in front of your children. Your kids may be too young to fully understand everything that’s going on, and even if somebody did do something wrong, it’s not a good idea to expose the children to it before they’re ready to hear it. I also advise against having your kids call a girlfriend or boyfriend “mom” or “dad.” This can be taken as parental alienation and is really not a good idea.

Overall, any dispute over child custody will be difficult for everyone involved. She’ll absolutely help you make the whole thing go as smoothly as possible. We can work with the court to guarantee the best outcome for everybody. Even if there are some hard feelings involved between you and their other parents, the kids should always come first.

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